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4 Ways to Save a Friend When They Don’t Realize They’re In Danger

When I was younger, a friend of mine started dating a guy.

He was her first serious relationship, and they had much in common. He also appeared to be a very decent, nice sort of fellow, and I was glad for her.

But as their relationship progressed, she started confiding certain details to me about what was going on.

There were places where they did not see eye to eye. She had values and principles that he did not share. They were raised with different beliefs and ideas. He did not agree with some things she felt were important to her.

I could tell she really liked him, though, and because I didn’t want to say bad things about a guy I barely knew, nor hurt my relationship with my friend by suggesting she break things off with someone she cared about so much, I didn’t speak up.

Instead of telling her the full extent of my suspicions, I merely hinted at them. And then strongly urged her to confide in her parents, or an older couple, and solicit their advice.

I don’t know if she did that or not. But she continued to date the young man.

A few years later, he broke her heart.

Friends can see blind spots in our lives, just as we see blind spots in their lives.

And good friends will have hard conversations with their friends for their benefit, even at risk of hurting feelings or risking the relationship.

As a wise man once said,

Faithful are the wounds of a friend.

But sometimes friends hesitate to help each other out, due to the risk of injuring feelings or damaging the relationship — a real and fearful possibility.

I regret not being more open with my friend. But a few things I learned from that experience:

Timing

If you need to have a difficult talk with someone, it’s usually best to do it sooner rather than later. Procrastination can lead to the problem festering and growing worse.

For instance: the longer I held off advising my friend to end the relationship, the more invested she became in it, and the harder it…